Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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