"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Randomize
