She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
