I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
