I have demons in me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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