I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
