It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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