come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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