Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize