His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize