my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
