We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
