Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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