i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
