Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
