I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
