the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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