i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
