Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this beer tastes like vomit already
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
