The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
