You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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