but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
