What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
