man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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