What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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