Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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