Is it because I queefed?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think people are normalizing furries
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
