Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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