I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
