I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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