R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
