Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
