no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
