apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
