Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
