I CAN MOONWALK!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
