Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
