she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
