she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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