if you like me you must not know who I am
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
