he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
