I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
