he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
