I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
