I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
