Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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