i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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