ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Randomize
