Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
