i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
