Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
my liver is dry heaving
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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