hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize