Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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