i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
