now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
