I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".