Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.