Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
