I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
