I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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