So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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