When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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