all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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