it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
