i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
