I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
