Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
