I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize