It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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